


Burning Red

by Lexilindale35



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 11:54:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8142847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexilindale35/pseuds/Lexilindale35
Summary: The fire burned in her eyes, "your general. Where is Cassian?"
The commander laughed, "probably bedding an even lesser fae than you."
Nesta's fingers sparked as she grabbed his ale and threw it against the wall. The commanders face turned red as she grabbed his shirt and twisted it until she cut off his air supply, "tell me where my mate is or so help me gods you will never bed another woman."
 
(The one where Cassian gets hurt and Nesta is ready to burn down the world to save him.)





	

Nesta wasn't one to worry. Cassian had been late before. But something in her stomach pulled, the bond of steel pulled at her core. Today had been Cassian’s longest day at that damn camp. There were so many things that could've gone wrong. Cassian always tried to make it home before dark, no matter how urgent the matter at the camp was. Ever since they had been staying at the cabin he made sure he came home to Nesta. Ever since they mated he made sure he was there, he didn't break any of his promises.

If he was going to be late he would make sure he sent a message. Usually it was a younger warrior, panting from the flight to tell her that her mate was going to be late. Nesta never told Cassian but it made her feel better. She let the bond throb, letting him know she was thankful he was thinking of her even though he was being held up with whatever he was doing.

Still Cassian was a normal over protective illryian. Like when Nesta was out in the forest and was attacked by a rogue. He held a knife to her stomach and before she could scream he stabbed her. Cassian felt her fear, he came running and found her laying on the ground. She was bleeding heavily, her magic wasn’t healing her. He would’ve fallen apart if it hadn’t been for Feyre. She told him to grab her sister and winnowed them to the healers.

It took her a good two months to fully heal from that wound. Her magic never helped her. The healers stitched her up and now she wore a scar underneath her heart. No one found that rogue, no one knows what he wanted or why he stabbed her. All Nesta remembers was waking up in her own bed, a hysterical Cassian holding her hand.

He calmed down when he saw her eyes open. He felt the bond, a living breathing thing between them. Nesta knew exactly why he was so upset. Because when he found her laying in a pool of her own blood, it reminded him of that day so long ago. That day she was remade. She didn’t fault him for worrying, she held his hand tighter and promised that he couldn’t get rid of her that easily.

After that incident he refused to go to the camps for a full month. He told Nesta he would be there for whatever she needed, since the healers told her she was to stay in bed until they cleared her. He waited on her hand and foot and Nesta hated every second of it. He brought her tea when she wasn’t thirsty, he made her food when she wasn’t hungry. He rubbed her legs and she hated that she couldn’t be with her mate.

She loved him for worrying, for taking care of her. But she was going crazy being stuck in that bed and having Cassian breathing down her neck.

Rhys and Azriel had to drag him back to work when Nesta started complaining about how annoying he was becoming. She loved him, more than she ever thought possible. But she made it clear she was still her own person, she didn't need him babying her even if she was healing from the stitches.

After the initial mate fear wore off cassian understood. He went back to work and only waited on Nesta when she needed something. 

Nesta still bared a scar underneath her heart from that dagger. Once she was completely healed and clear to go back to her normal life Cassian kissed it every night before they fell asleep. She never wore a nightgown to sleep in, she had nothing to hide from her mate. She loved curling up beside him, feeling his skin on hers.

At first Nesta thought he did it because he was happy she was finally healed. Now it was just something he did. No matter what time he fell into bed beside her, or when he woke up, he pressed his warm lips against her scar, underneath her heart. Nesta knew it was his promise to her, that she would never suffer another injury such as that one.

Nesta stood at the window watching the sky get darker. There was a storm coming, the cold could be felt even through the walls. The clouds rolled in and she could smell the snow hanging in the air. Her hands clenched, she hadn't brought any wood in. Cassian had promised to do that tonight. He thought an early morning meant an early evening too. He said he would get the weekend off.

There were so many things they were supposed to do. Like lay in bed all day without their night clothes. She missed her mate. She missed feeling safe in his arms. He was constantly working, always too tired to stay awake when she was up. He was over working himself for his High Lord, ensuring that there wouldn’t be another war like the one with Hybern. Nesta knew he was exhausted, so she didn’t complain when he fell asleep talking to her.

Still she missed him. No matter how tired he was, he was never too tired to love her. Gods did he know how to love her.

Her eyes wandered towards those tents that sat just outside the woods. Nesta glared at the tents, a snarl catching in her throat. The cabin was close enough she could see them, the reminder of Cassian's terrible childhood. Nesta hated being reminded of how he had been raised. As a brute, a warrior and nothing else. 

But the way he held her, the way he loved her, was anything but brutal. He was gentle, he was careful. His heart wasn't hard or cold. It was vast and deep, it held her and she couldn't believe how he had become that way. Not when every moment of his life tried to break him.

Nesta thought back to this morning when he kissed her goodbye. She had been half asleep, mumbling that she loved him too. She started to get up, to walk him to the door and see him off. But he told her today would be a long one, he didn't want her to see him out. She should've told him then. She should've told him yesterday.

She sighed as she sat at the kitchen table, running her fingers through her hair. She felt it in her gut something was wrong. Her world felt off, she couldn't concentrate on any tasks she needed to get done. Her mind kept wandering back to him. 

Her hands fell to her stomach as another wave of nausea and fear spread through her. She didn't care that it was almost dark or that the snow had began falling. She jumped out of her seat and grabbed her coat. She threw the door open and started towards the camp.

Her mate was in trouble. Every bone in her body begged her to find him.

She walked quickly through the snow that fell lightly. Her hands were freezing as she walked back a few of the younger warriors who were training well past the time they needed to be. Nesta wondered if that had been Cassian. Had he been so hell bent on proving himself he trained all hours of the day?

Thank the gods for Rhysand. He was Cassian's saving grace. He gave her mate a title, one he was more than proud to wear. That put him into danger Nesta couldn't even handle sometimes. But it gave him a reason to love her, to come home and tell her all the good stories. The stories where Cassian was the hero.

Her heart thumped loudly. She wanted to hear him tell those stories again. She wanted those stories to help her fall asleep tonight.

She pushed down hot tears as she walked into the mess hall. Some of the chatting stopped. All eyes turned to her. She could feel their fear. Nesta wasn't one to be messed with, even if Cassian wasn't her mate. She had wildfire in her blood, she spit it at those who looked at her wrong.

She found Cassian's commander sitting at the round table, laughing with his buddies. She slammed her hand on the table, "where is he?"

His smile didn't leave his face, his ale halfway to his mouth, "I'm sorry. Who are we talking about?"

The fire burned in her eyes, "your general. Where is Cassian?"

The commander laughed, "probably bedding an even lesser fae than you."

The commander never liked Cassian. He never thought highly of the man who walked into battle with his men. He hated how much Rhysand loved Cassian, how he had given him the name of general because they were friends. Nesta spent many nights listening to her mate complain about this man. She spent a lot of time thinking of ways of torturing him. Because he loved to make sure Cassian remembered he was a bastard.

He tried to make him believe he would always be a bastard. 

What he didn't realize was that Cassian told Rhysand to let the commander keep his title. Cassian wanted his men to listen to someone else when he wasn't around. He chose this terrible excuse of a man to be that man.

Nesta's fingers sparked as she grabbed his ale and threw it against the wall. The commanders face turned red as she grabbed his shirt and twisted it until she cut off his air supply, "tell me where my mate is or so help me gods you will never bed another woman."

The commander coughed as Nesta loosened her hold long enough for him to regain air, "he took about fifteen men to patrol the woods. By the mountain," he rubbed his throat, "he thought there was a threat."

Nesta let him go, her fire still burning as the men around them watched. She grazed an angry hot finger down his cheek. She smiled as he winced, enjoying the welt that formed, "next time I'll do more than scar you, commander."

She pulled back and stood up, "we need to go find him," she looked at the men Cassian had trained, the men who cared about her mate, "please something is wrong. I just need two or three of you."

Ryland shook his head, "we can't risk more men, Nesta. Cassian said it was dangerous. We weren't supposed to follow."

Tears gathered in her eyes, "so you're going to risk those men? My mate?" Her voice broke, her hands shaking. They were still warm, but they itched to touch her stomach. Her heart was breaking as she thought about losing him.

She never forgot that day in the palace, Cassian laying in his blood, reaching for her. She never forgot the taste, the feels of that black water rushing through her body. She died that day, she'll never erase that memory from her mind. But she was also remade. When she came back out of that cauldron she saw Cassian. She saw him, and apart of her already knew they belonged together.

She felt a stab below her heart. It wasn't the pain of him being away, the fear he was in trouble. It was an actual stab, as if she had been hit by an arrow. Nesta screamed as the heat flushed through her. She grabbed the table for support, her ribs felt broken.

"Nesta," Ryland reached out but she pushed his arms away. She didn't want him or anyone else. She just wanted Cassian.

"I'm fine," she growled. Ryland didn't try to touch her, but he did move to help her sit down. He pulled a chair out as the commander watched, "we need to find him. Please."

Ryland stared at her, his eyes bright as he inhaled deeply. A small smile played on his lips, "he will make it back to you Nesta. He always does."

"He's hurt," she sobbed as the pain spread through her chest, "I feel it. He needs help."

She buried her face in her hands before the tears started to fall. She didn't like crying in front of anyone, let alone these warriors. She had a reputation to uphold, she had to keep them on their toes with her anger. But she couldn't stop the sob that broke through her lips. She needed to see Cassian, to make sure he was all right.

"They're back!" Someone shouted as the doors swung open. 

Nesta jumped up and ran. She didn't care that her coat was unbutton or that the snow was falling even faster now. She didn't care that there were a dozen dirty and bloody males walking towards her. She searched for one face and one face only. Her mate.

"Cassian," her heart hammered as the first warrior passed. His eyes were wide when he saw her, as if he knew something she didn't. She reached out and touched the second solider, broad shoulders and long hair were all she could make out.

"Cass," she should've known by the smell it wasn't him. But everything was mixing together, her senses were all jumbled and weren't working properly. Not since yesterday. Not since a few weeks ago if she thought hard enough.

The warrior turned around. He wasn't Cassian. The line got thinner and suddenly Nesta realized Cassian wasn't there. Her heart fell into her stomach, her knees buckled. Her mate wasn't among his men. 

Where was he? She couldn't stop worrying, her mind twisting to every worse case scenario it could find. Her hands were shaking, her heart pounding. Cassian wouldn't have gotten himself into trouble. He knew what he was doing. Except she felt that pain. She felt it hit her ribs.

She almost fell into the snow from pure desperation. She didn't know what else to do. If he wasn't here then he was still out there. He was still hurt and he needed her. It was her stubbornness that kept her standing. 

"Nesta," she heard her name and looked up. Through the trees she saw him, he was being supported by another Illyrian. 

Relief flooded through her as she ran to him. He was barely conscious, there was an arrow sticking out of his chest, "Cassian. Oh my god."

"Nesta," he winced as he walked, barely able to help the poor brute carrying most of his weight, "you. Shouldn't. Here."

He couldn't complete the sentence. His eyes closed and he stopped walking. The warrior holding him buckled, "get Ryland. We need to get him to the healers."

Nesta nodded, "we need to get him back to the cabin," she looked behind her, Ryland was already making his way towards them, "please. Take him to our cabin."

Ryland grabbed one arm and helped the warrior carry her injured mate back to the cabin. Nesta followed, her fear replaced by anger. Someone had attacked her mate, someone had shot an arrow into his chest and she could feel it. She saw the damage. She knew what the healers were going to say the moment they walked into the room. 

They laid him down on the bed slowly, the sheets already covered with dirt. He winced as his wings got trapped underneath him, but that was the least of Nesta's worry. She touched her hand to his forehead, his entire body was slick with sweat.

She pulled his shirt off, careful of the arrow sticking out of his chest. A few more inches to the right and it would've hit his heart. It would've shattered hers. She choked back a sob as the healer grabbed her shoulder and pushed her gently away.

"We need to take the arrow out," he said gently. Nesta nodded slowly.

Her mouth was dry, "don't break it," she whispered as they prepared to help her injured mate.

They worked on him for over twenty minutes. Nesta stood by watching, Cassian wincing in pain every single time they touched him. She could feel his pain, she felt it through the bond and deep in her soul. They gave him some medicine and once they were done they turned to look at Nesta. She knew what they were about to say. She could feel it in her gut they weren't going to give her good news. 

Nesta froze when the words finally left their mouths after an hour of working on him, "the arrow left pieces in his ribs, the poison entered his blood. We aren't entirely sure he'll survive the night."

Nesta wanted to scream, to cry, to demand them to find a way to fix her mate. But she couldn't do anything, she stood there staring at the healers. At some point Rhysand winnowed into the room followed by Feyre. Nesta collapsed into her sisters arms as the healers spoke to her mate's brother.

Cassian might not make it. Her mate might not survive. Nesta's fire burned, turned to ice before it made it out of her fingers. She couldn't survive without him, she didn't know how. Feyre held her tightly as the tears fell, her sister the only one who truly understood the fear of losing her mate.

\---

After the healers left they settled in for a long night. Rhysand sat on one side of the bed and Nesta took up home on the other. She watched as his chest went up and down slowly, his forehead covered with sweat. He was warm, his hand clammy in hers. Nesta wiped away her silent tears. The bond was there, she held it with all her might, begging him to stay here with her.

"You can't leave me," she whispered softly as Feyre talked to her mate, "please, Cassian. You promised."

There was a bandage wrapped around his wound. The bleeding had stopped, his body started to fight off the poison. The healers said they would be back in a few hours to check up on him. Nesta wanted them back now. She wanted them to tell her if he would pull through. Or if she was going to have to prepare herself for the worst.

“Cassian hasn't ever been as happy as he is with you,” Rhysand’s voice was low, “you never met the brother I found, the bastard born warrior who truly believed he didn’t deserve a title. But I’m so glad he found you, Nesta. because he truly loves you.”

Tears gathered in her eyes, “I love him too. I think I loved him the moment I climbed out of that water, I was just too scared and proud to admit it. I won’t let him die. He can’t die, Rhys.”

He offered her a small smile, his eyes flashing towards his own mate, “he’s strong. He will get through this, I know he’s been through worse. He would walk through hell and back just to see you again.”

They all fell quiet again, watching Cassian’s chest rise and fall, listening to his ragged breathing. Nesta fought off another round of tears as she held onto his hand as tightly as she could. She held onto the bond even tighter, begging the gods to heal her mate. Begging whoever cared about her to save the only thing she truly loved in this world.

Azriel came into the room sometime after eleven. Nesta hadn't moved from her chair. Mor came in after her mate and looked at Nesta, "you need to eat something."

Nesta shook her head, knowing she needed to, but she couldn't do it, "I can't. I can't leave him."

"You have to eat something Nesta," Mor was the only one who knew. Nesta hadn't intentionally told her, she had found out and promised to keep the secret until she was ready.

Nesta looked at her sister, "I just. Need to stay here," her soul felt like it was on fire. She was holding tightly to the bond, begging him to hold on just a little tighter. Nesta closed her eyes tightly, trying to keep the tears away.

"Nesta," it was Rhysand who called her name. When she opened her eyes her brother in law was knelt there in front of her, "you need to take care of yourself. Cassian is going to be fine."

She shook her head, "they said he might not make it," she whispered squeezing his hand, "I just. I haven't told him yet."

Feyre's eyes went wide, a smile breaking out on her face, "Nesta," Rhysand still looked confused as Mor returned her sister’s smile, "really?"

Nesta nodded, both her sisters coming to hug her. She didn't let go of Cassian's hand, so the hugs were awkward. Still it was nice to know they were happy. A few tears fell down her cheek as she felt their happiness, wishing her mate could share this moment with her. Feyre kissed her cheek, wiping away a few tears.

Rhys looked at his mate and she whispered in her ear. A smile spread across his face slowly, his eyes coming back to Nesta. He nodded his head, laughing at his own oblivious state, "that's why you smell different."

She blushed, "Cassian's been too busy to notice. He barely woke me up to leave this morning," her tears got bigger, "Rhys. Are the healers wrong? Will he really be okay? I can’t do this without him. I don’t want to do this without him.”

He nodded his head slowly, "I know my brother and he is strong. He is a fighter especially when it comes to you. He will fight whatever darkness has found him to come back to you. Both of you."

Rhys reached up and wiped away a tear. Nesta held onto her mate's hand tighter, wishing the night would move faster. Wishing her mate would open his eyes and everything would be fine again. She wasn't letting him leave this bed. She understood how scared he had been that day she got hurt.

Cassian always came home with bruises and cuts. But never this badly. He had never been as close to death as that day she was remade. That day had scared her enough to wake her up. It took him almost six months to repair his wings. She watched him suffer, watched him cry and break. She helped put him back together.

And that's how their love story began. This was not where it would end. 

It would not end years after a war they survived. Cassian would not die in an attack by a new enemy. Nesta willed her fire to merge with his. She begged her body to heal his and bring him back to her.

"I love you," she whispered, as Azriel wrapped his arms around Mor. She was crying softly now, Feyre holding onto Rhysand as she watched her sister slowly break. Everyone took comfort in their mate, while Nesta was left watching her hang on by a thread. 

Sometime after midnight Cassian's fingers moved in her hand. Nesta's eyes went wide and she ran her fingers through his hair pushing it off his forehead. Her heart was going crazy inside her chest and she could feel him through the bond. He was fighting, there was a fire burning in his soul. She crawled up onto the bed, wishing he would wrap his arm around her waist the way he always did.

"Cassian," she kept her voice low, "I need you. We both need you."

Her tears slipped once more as she sat beside him. Slowly his chest rose and fell, his breathing even and strong. Nesta placed her hand against his chest and then his eyes fluttered open. Her heart jumped into her throat. 

"Nesta," he whispered, his deep voice laced with pain. He reached for her and she cried happy tears this time.

"Thank the gods," she whispered as she buried her face in his chest, careful of his injuries, "I thought. Gods I thought I lost you."

He winced as she held onto him tightly, "you can't get rid of me that easily,” he stopped and looked at her, “you’re crying. Don’t cry love.”

She smiled, “happy tears now. You’re awake, I can’t. They said you weren’t going to make it, Cass. I don’t want to live forever without you.”

Cassian struggled to sit up, Nesta watching him as his eyes went around the room, “you won’t ever lose me, sweetheart,” he whispered as one of the others went to find the healers, “I promise, you’re stuck with me.”

She held onto him tightly, his arms warm and safe. She took in a deep breath and placed his big calloused hand against her stomach, "good. Because I’m not the only one who needs you."

His eye cleared as he understood what she was saying. His mouth fell open and he forgot about his injury for a moment and tried to sit up quickly. He stopped when the pain hit him, "what?"

She watched him breathe in deeply, "I wanted to tell you before you left. But you left so early," Nesta whispered as everyone watched their happy moment. It took him a few seconds to process it all, but he looked so happy Nesta felt guilty for being so afraid of telling him about their baby.

"My mate," he smiled as he pulled her down towards him, kissing her again. His lips were soft and sure as he held her close, "carrying my child. Gods I'd endure all that pain again just to get to this moment."

Nesta smiled as their family stood around them, "you aren't allowed to work anymore. Remember how overbearing you were during those months it took me to heal? I'm going to be twice as bad."

He laughed as he held her close, "I love you," he whispered into her skin, "you and our little baby bat."

The healers came back an hour after he opened he eyes. They were surprised that Cassian had woken up so quickly. They checked his wounds and the poison and everything else was gone. Her fire had burned away the bits of wood that splintered. It was Nesta’s fire that saved his life, they told her. It was Nesta’s will to keep him here that held him in this plane. 

Nesta kept holding his hand as they examined him. She stayed beside him in bed. 

"I felt you," he said quietly, "tugging the bond, keeping me here."

Nesta held onto him tightly, his pain seeping out of his body every second. He was getting better, she could feel it, "I couldn't let you go. You are my heart, my soul. I can't live an immortal life without my heart," tears filled her eyes, "without you."

Cassian leaned his forehead against hers, breathing in her strange new scent. It wrapped around him and comforted him more than any medicine, any tonic could. He smiled, his hand already laying on her stomach. Nesta couldn't get enough of that smile, she couldn't get enough of him.

"You don't have to worry about losing me love," he whispered softly as he held her close, "I'm not going anywhere."

Nesta closed her eyes and then Azriel cleared his throat, "I say this calls for one hell of a celebration. My first nephew."

Mor giggled, "my first niece," she glared at her mate, "but I agree. How do you feel Cassian?"

He didn't take his eyes off his mate, "like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be."

Feyre winnowed out of the room and brought back glasses and wine. She brought sparkling cider for Nesta and even some food. Now that the danger had subsided it was time to celebrate. Nesta knew Cassian would be as good as new by morning.

"To Cassian and Nesta," Rhysand said raising his glass as he slipped his arm around Feyre, "and their new adventure."

Nesta kissed Cassian as they all drank their wine. After an hour of talking and celebrating they decided they should give the mates their own time to celebrate. Nesta would've loved to be alone with Cassian, but she knew they were both going to fall asleep. She nestled into his side, exhaustion hitting her all at once. She felt her body ready for sleep. 

Once everyone left Cassian pressed his warm hand against her bare stomach as she shrugged out of her clothes. He pressed a kiss to her neck, then her collar bone. Her breath hitched as he kissed her shoulder, his mouth moving towards her stomach.

"I won't be my father," he whispered to her, "I will always be there for our child Nesta. Always."

She nodded, "I know," she whispered softly as she ran her fingers through his hair, "you're going to be an amazing father."

Cassian whispered promises to her stomach, to her. He promised he wouldn't go back to the mountain, he would send his most skilled men to take care of that thing. He promised he would take care of Nesta, he would give her anything and everything she wanted while she was carrying this baby. He cried, happy tears he told her. 

But mostly he just held her close. As if he too had been terrified of losing his mate. As if he felt her fear, her heart shattering when she was holding his hand. He knew how much she needed him as they sat there together. She didn't even care that he was still dirty, she clung to him as tightly as he held her.

Nesta would never forget the sight of her mates arms wrapped around her stomach. She would never forget the feel of his kiss and the weight of the promises he made them. This was love, real and true love. The thread that connected them tugged as she felt her heart fill up with him.

Nesta wiped away a tear off his cheek. He kissed her stomach once more and then she felt his lips press against her scar. Nesta closed her eyes, excited for the next nine months to fly by. She couldn't wait to meet their little baby bat. But really, she couldn't want to see Cassian become a father.


End file.
